Trials and Tribulations by Fire

This post contains a portion of my new story. It shows 03:24 a.m. on my laptop. One would wonder why I am awake at this ungodly hour. I have been awake since 1:30 a.m. Tossing and turning, trying to put my turbulent thoughts to rest. My mind refuses to cooperate today. Today, of all days. It is the beginning of navratri today. In some time, I must be wide awake to usher the goddess into my humble home and perform stringent rituals to propitiate her. Is the goddess listening to me? Or is she not aware of my mental turbulence? I spent three hours thinking about him. Memories hit me like an avalanche on a high altitude mountainous slope. I slid, slowly, softly into its fold. It engulfed my mind then my whole being in its wake. His thoughts came in bursts. I shed a tear or two. I felt ashamed later. Is it right? No no, the question here is not about whether it is right or wrong, the question is why. Why? Why me? Why today, why after all these years? Isn’t it always like ...

Just finished reading, "Before we visit the Goddess," by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. I have been a fan of her languid prose and beautiful poetry. She brings to life the three women protagonists:Sabitri, Bela, and Tara, Grandmother, Mother, and Grand daughter. The letter that Sabitri writes to Tara is the strong point for me in this novel stretching from Assam to U.S. The men in these women's lives do have important roles to play but are not given enough standing room by themselves. Be it the CPI(M) student leader Sanjay or the two-timing Robert, they have minimal roles in Divakaruni's land. This novel belongs totally to Sabitri, I feel. Tara and Bela and Bela and Sabitri go through similar strained relationship struggles. I could relate to it so much. I love the way Divakaruni makes you go back and forth to stitch a complete tale.