Trials and Tribulations by Fire

You raise your voice You raise your hand I cringe, knowing well the imprint that would land The skin singes, nerves tingle, throat constricts in pain I cry out not loud, neighbors should think all is clear Blue black red green I have seen it all Marks that no eraser can wipe away Marks that run with my blood, through my heart You talk so that you can control You cry so that you can overpower I let you do that so that I can live... 

Can married women use their financial freedom to empower themselves? Can they? If I heard anyone saying yes, I want to meet that woman. And fall at her feet. One of these scenarios is true: she is heading for a divorce, wears the pants in her house, or is simply assertive and does not care too much about what the spouse feels.  Well, I am talking about the freedom to spend the money she earns. I do not want to be in a position where for even a minute I would have to ask money from somebody, let alone a man. When you dole out money to someone, you automatically feel powerful, showing off your financial prowess to whoever cares to hear.  Is that bad? It certainly is, from a self respect POV.  Also, if you earn money but are stopped from using it as and when you want, you would certainly feel restricted. I am not a spender, rather I can be termed frugal also. There are times when I would need to spend on some essentials but may not be allowed to. The reasons are myriad.  I see th

Just finished reading "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. Jodi writes about relationships, families, of love, hurt, longing, human emotions, and many more such themes. A friend suggested I pick up one of her books. I did, but forgot the name of the author when I reached the library. I searched all the Js but did not chance upon her books. When I was about to give up, I saw a rack full of Jodi's books. Delightedly, I picked one up, randomly. I informed my friend that I had my hands on one and would giver her my feedback.  Here is what I think:  Jodi is a fantastic writer. I happened to read her interviews in the media and her blog. I also read the comments from her male contemporaries.  The Pact is about two teenagers, Chris and Emily and their love. The story unfolds in a restaurant where the two families, the Golds and Hartes are meeting up over a meal. Gus and James Harte and Michael and Mel Gold are friends for over eighteen years.  Their kids Chris Harte and E

Recently, I happened to meet a friend who had had house guests: an old couple. This is a very interesting relationship that I am going to describe. This lady and the old couple had met through her husband and they got along like a house on fire. During the few occasions they met, the lady was nice to the couple and the couple, especially the old woman was enamored by the lady.  It so happened that one day the old couple came calling and decided to stay longer than their usual one or two days.  My friend was aghast at this blatant intrusion of privacy. Was she running a guesthouse? How could anybody just walk into her house and stay for days altogether. She braced herself for some old-fashioned advising. As she thought, the old lady started bossing around and started throwing a tantrum left, right, and center. Do this, do that, etc. The lady started returning late at night. One night when she went with a friend for a couple of drinks, the old lady asked her, quite sternly, "wh

I watched 'India's Daughter', the story of Jyoti Singh, a feisty rape victim, who succumbed to her injuries, dashing the hopes of her inconsolable parents.  The video, a 59 and odd minute documentary played on BBC Four recently. It made me shudder. Not that I am not aware of the existence of men like Mukesh and the boy now simply called "The Juvenile". I see them everywhere, on the streets, in the malls.  The video is well shot. The interview with one of the perps, the unrepentant, unashamed Mukesh treats the whole shoot like a moral lecture. He looks straight at the camera and without batting an eyelid supports the rape. He says, the girl was asking for it. What gall the girl had to step out after sunset to watch a movie, with a boy who did not fit the "accepted" definitions of men like Mukesh: husband, brother, father, and so on. The girl was asking for it, he says. She had to be taught a lesson. Even if Ram and Mukesh's twisted minds