Trials and Tribulations by Fire

Nithya Suresh Kaun Hai? Well, this would be the case a few hours ago. But now, 1 hour later, its a fact. A simple yeah, has completed my journey. Maybe I am crazy to say yes, without even thinking. But I had already decided to say yes even without meeting the guy. The Groom, to be exact. Suresh alias Subramanian, would have been my Prince Charming. A would be husband. But destiny had other plans in store. Suresh, withered away without even a trace. My beloved parents spurned him. He was shooed away, because, he turned out to be something else that he originally wasn't. His lies, had turned him into a non-performing asset. NPA. Suresh had to go. He had not completed the formalities. He had lied about his qualifications and job. He had to be stopped from starting the engagement formalities. A phone call took care of that. And an e-mail did the trick. I was relieved. Woudn't I?

Have you felt the need to confirm? The oppressive need to be right in someone else's eyes. This is a feeling that takes out your ego and tosses it unceremoniously out the window. I always have this feeling of incompleteness, of having to confirm to others. To say yes, when I want to say NO. Is this a common feeling or am I all alone in this? Maybe there are others. Other women. Seldom have I seen men being a Confirm freak. They have a whole society backing them up. What is right for them is right for the world. Ain't it. Well, this time round, I have decided to turn this thing on its head and say No. Finally. I have the courage to do it. But somewhere near my ribs I get a pull, that is difficult to handle, I am lost for words and my mind becomes bemuddled. Is it normal? I ask myself. But I want to do what I want to do. Not act according to some guy's whims and fancies. Is it too much? But then, this has a root in the year 1977. Or maybe 1978. I am not sure. When the mind go...

In this world filled with people - successful people, unsuccessful people, diseased people, cheaters, teachers, mothers, beggars, CEOs, anybody worth a dime, have they ever pondered on this - Is everything in their control? We perceive so. We think everything is in our hands. It gives us a boost and makes us feel very powerful. We feed our egos with this thought. But is it true? What can we control? Life? No. We can die anytime. Money? No. We can lose our job/business anytime to some unknown unimaginable catastrophe. Then what? The you are rendered homeless and have to depend on the State or the Society. This is true in the US. But what about the mere mortals in Indian states. They have to depend on their brethren. You cannot even control your own reflexes. You, the most powerful species on earth, with Intelligence, cannot do anything if your body suddenly stops working. Nothing. You can do something, though. You can cry. Feel sorry. Thats it. Ponder on this.............