Feb 19: Turning a prettier 39! Yaay!




I turned 39 today. A year short of a glorious 40. 
In the last year, I have seen many ups and downs. 

 Mostly because of men/man. 

 Grey hair has started sprouting abundantly everywhere on my head. 
I do what all the other glorious women in this age group do: donate money to Loreal and paint it! I wish I could color it blue, but it ain't the corporate color yet, so can't attempt such silliness. 

 My mom was also born today. How? 

 Well, when I was born, she became a mom, right? So, she was born/re-born. 
I am in a very overloaded emo mood. 

 All these years, like a complete fucking chut, I kept lying awake, wishing people on their birthdays. Except 2 sweet women, none, (exceptions are there, who all I can forgive) wished me. I was expecting one person to wish me. Nada. Nothing. I do not exist. Maybe, I deserve this shit, you know. Sidelines. Crap. 

 No, I don't. I am a fine person, I am pretty, educated, cultured and yes, I have a mind of my own. Why the fuck should I get all emo and wonder why no chut was up and awake to wish me. 

 I know, I must sound like a total jerk to be sitting at my dining table, while my laptop chugs at the charger, typing my frustration away furiously, especially, when the time in the clock is 01:20 AM!

 I should be happily snuggled in bed, dreaming. 

 Life is pretty strange you know. 

 I just realized that a guy I was chatting with shares my day of birth. Freaking crazy life this is! 

 The room mate walked out grumpily and shook hands with me and said with a dour face, "Many happy returns", I didnt even bother to see his face. I returned the limp handshake with a limper one. Damn! I can be nasty too, I am a master at all this. 


 I need to shake off this need to cling. 

 I have been successful in keeping my fingers and emo in tight control. I will come out of all this a better product. I need to figure out how best to deal with all this crap that has hit the ceiling. 

 I wrote some silly intents today on a piece of paper. I felt really emo at that time. Now, after a particular incident, I feel silly. What am I even wishing for? I should probably be wishing or intending to receive other blessings. Not such crappy shit. Anyway, I will learn. I have my mum, I have my dad. For them, I am the best thing that happened. I also have a few well-meaning babes who keep me sane. Mmmuah to them! 

 I have other people who may care about my welfare when their cylinders are full and life gets monotonous. 

 I have learnt a hard lesson. Never ever waste good money on fools. It is never worth it. Cheap and classless people can never ever measure up. 

 Enough of ranting. I need to catch my bus tomorrow. Let me catch a few winks. 
  

    

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Defining LOVE for the Chennai audience :)

Love - An oft misquoted term, which simply means a plethora of misplaced hormones going into overdrive. A strong feeling of magnetism that tries to pull two confused beings into a bubble, which tricks them into a false sense of joy and serenity. Love, is a shortlived emotion. Let it rest! Love, that springs from the bottom of the heart when a week-old baby gurgles at you, has a longer life than the hormonal surge. I am not talking about honey-sweet emotions connected with mothers, siblings and flowers, puppies etc. I am not even talking about the babies sleeping on bathtowels, like those in a Anne Geddes card. I am talking about the bonding between two unsuspecting people, who are unable to behave rationally once they are "bitten" by the love bug. Why I chose to call it a bug, is that once you are bitten, you become devoid of rational thought and behaviour. You tend to forget things, as your hard disk is on an overdrive trying to store images of your beloved! If only you coul
Read more

Nithya Suresh Kaun Hai?

Nithya Suresh Kaun Hai? Well, this would be the case a few hours ago. But now, 1 hour later, its a fact. A simple yeah, has completed my journey. Maybe I am crazy to say yes, without even thinking. But I had already decided to say yes even without meeting the guy. The Groom, to be exact. Suresh alias Subramanian, would have been my Prince Charming. A would be husband. But destiny had other plans in store. Suresh, withered away without even a trace. My beloved parents spurned him. He was shooed away, because, he turned out to be something else that he originally wasn't. His lies, had turned him into a non-performing asset. NPA. Suresh had to go. He had not completed the formalities. He had lied about his qualifications and job. He had to be stopped from starting the engagement formalities. A phone call took care of that. And an e-mail did the trick. I was relieved. Woudn't I?
Read more

Being All Parts

Have you ever wondered if you were living all parts of your body totally and completely? Have you ever wondered how it would feel to feel and live with all the parts of your body? Do you know that people only accept certain parts of you. Rest, they simply reject. Maybe, because they aren't so comfortable with the parts. Leave alone other people, have you, as an individual, accepted your wholeness with all its flaws. Do you have the courage to face yourself?
Read more