Trials and Tribulations by Fire

  It is always a matter of time Before the screams start, the anger boils over sprouting a burn Always a matter of a few seconds Takes nothing to trigger lava Lava of tantrums, outbursts, insults Attitude I have I am told, plain speak is what I use Is it the money? Is it the worthiness of the flesh that bites? What is it? Lack of lust or love, the one emotion, anger regains and retains Always a matter of when not how It can be a continuation or a slow build up Lacklustre is the journey, tiring the tirades Materials matter more than human emotions Always a matter of time before dreams are crushed and joys submerged  

That feeling of utter helplessness, downward spiralling joy How much ever you try, you can't shake off or ignore the ever present ghost of the woman It is not about you It is always about what she could and what you cannot, ever Do I care? I don't but does it matter? Yes But not to me. Complicated it is. Am expected to be obsessed over bathroom stains while all I want is to fly away, into the oblivion, spread my wings, with no worries of financial security or rapists on the loose ready to plug the hole... Rules, rules, and more rules. Don't do this, don't do that. Wear a nightie but as soon as you get up in the morning, wear your bra and a pyjama under your nightie. Or better still, get up early in the morning and ensure you dress up like a fucking doll and serve the god. The fucking god who can sleep late because he is tired. The hypocrisy of it all is so fucking maddening that a normal person can just lose it. Is it worth it? Many well-meaning friends aske...

From dust we rise and to dust we return, some great man said! Corporates we serve and like corporates we become, is my version. I quit my day job. One fine day, I could not take it anymore and I just quit. The woman who used to be my Manager was thrilled beyond explanation and accepted my resignation before I could spell my name. Sigh! So much for slogging away at that place. Anyway. So, I have been without an identity tag for a couple of months now. I feel free. I am not required to say 'yes mam no mam' to any woman or man. Is it good? I don't know. End of the day, I do not have the pressure to reach some place by a particular time with bated breath and wait for the other person's impression to fuck my life. I am beyond caring now. I am in a stage of my life where I just want to do what I please and how I please.    My days start with the bell. The calling bell which announces the arrival of The Bai, Madame Krishnaveni. She moves around ...