Spinning at 30

Thirty years, long arduous years. Today, I can turn back and look at all this with a wise grin on my face. Without remorse, without agony. Well sometimes, though the thoughts truly make me shudder. The pain, the agony, and the sorrow make me feel embittered. My soul feels torn at many places. I feel bad for all the torture I have put my mind through. But I cant help feel bad about all this.

I turned 30 recently. Thirty long years of my life, and I feel I have so little to show for everything I have been through. I have given so much (or atleast tried to) but I hardly have got back anything solid in return. All I have got is heartache, and humiliation. Do i deserve all this? Am i worth only this? Is this what I was born for? Is this what my life is worth? Getting an earful from people, who are worth a piece of shit weighed in kilos! Heck, I have reached somewhere, by 30. I wanted to be here when I started my journey some 7 years back. I have done it. Why should I cow down and feel sorry for myself? I am not bad. I am great. I am a winner. I have learnt lessons the hardest way. I have had it worst.

As Murli had put it once very succintly, "We all get what we deserve." Well, at that time he had meant the marks, but it so applies to every facet of our lives. Doesnt it? Huh.

I turned 30, and I am very happy about it. I feel FREE.

Comments

  1. Zuber Mohammed11:35 PM

    happy birthday....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3:48 PM

    hey love the language...
    hee hee hee
    finally u realised u are worth a better life!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. sunshine1:54 PM

    kalkatita dee...awesome thoughts rolled with your ventings...well dont know wt to say...but sure can say u will get a wonderful life ahead dee...dont wrry

    ReplyDelete

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