The Big Employment Fair at the Bank

3rd Eye and many other consultants made me famous overnight.

Believe me.

Before I could blink my eye, I started getting calls, e-mails, and messages from people I had forgotten, existed.

Suddenly, everybody wanted a piece of me. The poor unknown me. Hah! The lure of easy money (Looks like that to the outside world!) Am sure Hannah would agree with me. Anyway, I have been swamped with calls and messages from 'friends' and others, who never even bothered to greet me or chat with me.

What prompted me to write this blog was an e-mail from a lady who had received a call from some consultant, and who wanted to verify the feasibility of quitting her current job and joining the Bank. She didnt even bother with polite talk, she immediately jumped to the matter. (I was so surprised to see her e-mail, I fell outta my chair!)

She wanted to know if it were worth the effort to take time off and forward her CV to the consultant. I clicked the Delete button. I knew what will happen anyway. Our dear AK will highlight all the mistakes and then put her CV to the shredder and make a joke out of it in our next team meeting. Haha. OK. Am not being pompous at all. The standards are roof high, and it takes a lot to stick around. If you are applying for a writer's position, you gotta have decent writing skills na.

Another so-called friend called me. Well I was in a meeting, so couldn't take the call. But my guess was correct. It was about the opening in my office, more specifically, my team. I ignored the call and the person. She was not interested in it anyway, I knew. These people often go on a spree to check their market value and then go and get their salaries raised. I am not game for this.

Well, lets get on. There was this lady who told me I work for a worthless place (The angur khatte hain syndrome), because of many irregularities that I pointed out in her attitude. A few told me, the money they would earn here would not be as much if they leave their industry and jump to the Bank. Great!

There was also this lady who used STD to ask me if it was 'worth' the effort to take the test at the Bank. She wanted to know if she would be given a minimum salary of 50K and accomodation. I almost died laughing. :D 50K for a writer! Yeah, the Bank must go broke to pay all these unrealistic salaries. I still feel ticklish whenever I think about the 'generous' lady.

Yet another lady (a 'friend' from my technical writing class) called me out of the blue and asked me if my Boss was a womanizer, and If she would be safe driving back to Virugambakkam all alone at night. I seriously couldn't control my laughter. Why would AK run after her, and try to rape/molest her! Beats me. Anyway, I told her very very nicely that there was no such opening in my team. And I was sure that the consultant had made a mistake. Haha. My poor Boss would have had a cardiac arrest if he had heard this conversation!

Then there was this lady who was so very excited at the prospect of joining the Bank and said she might consider it if given a chance, but backed out after a while, when she was sent on an onsite project to Germany! Voila! Am I the blind one here? Looks like.

After getting so many calls from wannabe-KMAs, I gave up. I could not take the torture anymore. Believe me, I shudder to take any call from any known/unknown number, anymore. I do not want to sound rude or appear shoddy, but here is what I think each time a 'friend' calls, suddenly, without any indication or any plausible reason.

Ladies and ladies (the gentlemen gently kept it subtle) kindly do not bother your pretty heads and call/sms/e-mail me and ask about the work place, environment blah blah. When you are not interested in it and will not be willing to leave behind your cushy and pushy jobs in any case, why trouble me, asking me if they should apply, if they would get a hike or not, if my Boss was a womanizer, if the hikes were good, or if they provided drop and pickup, if they gave free food and a house, what kind of questions will they ask in the interview, can i get them a test paper etc etc etc. Depend on your intuitions and apply if you wish to, but please stop asking me if you should apply and if you apply if my Boss will select you. You know I am just a humble writer in the team, not the TL.

I sound callous I know, but, the truth is, people found my number buried in their address book suddenly when the need arose. They realized hey they know someone here. Hey! I am alive and kicking. No harm in trying to ask me If I were alive once in a while. And after you have tried acting smart, you think I will revert with my comments. Nah! Go Multiply! :)