Trials and Tribulations by Fire

Ever seen a poem being enacted?  Tamasha, starring Ranbir and Deepika, is like a poem flowing freely on reel. You can probably reach out and touch it. The screen ceases to exist after a while.  Deepika is like old wine, hits your deepest conscience, after a while, it becomes difficult to discern which is true which is a movie. The movie goes back and forth, like Murakami's stories, intermingling the senses with facts and overstated truths. The narrative turns the facts around and in a dream like sequence, the child decides that storytelling was what he wanted to do.  In short, Tamasha will appeal to a very small section of an audience, which loves to watch good cinema. Tamasha is designed, like a jatra , a street play, where there is a jester and a storyteller. Deepika is stunning, but the main hero, if I may say is the story. Ranbir is good but not as stunning as he was in Yeh Jawaani... I had a nice time watching the movie, for various reasons. But, in shor...

It has been months now that I put pen to paper.  I have not been feeling the flow, instead, I have been distracted.  Exactly, since, Nov 6. Damn! This day is such a disaster.  Last year, my life turned. This year, my life changed again. Same date.  I do not know for the better or worse, but, life as I know it, has changed. Irreversible.  What do I do about this change? Change is good, my mind says.  But, what about my life. I am like a person who has swallowed a cork while drinking wine, unable to swallow the damn thing and unable to spit it out because it has gone on too far...too far, too deep, too much... Dec 8: Should not have happened, maybe it was destiny, but, is it a mistake?  It doesn't seem like...damn, feels so natural, normal, intense...    Changed fortunes of many people...the air is different, I can sense it... I saw what I saw, felt what I felt, right/wrong I don't care.  Life as I know it, has changed...

Feeling like an utter fool maybe a fool would be an understatement maybe something harsher should be used Does Oxford have a word like that?  was I blind? what was I thinking? Shit man! what was I giving up...losing out on...! and for what...this?  I wasted so much time...! Thank ganpathi bappa for showing me the right way... as soon as I can I will come to visit you... You always help me when I reach out to you... Maybe you were showing me a way that day too...I was blind Today I prayed fervently...Baba also...Thanks a lot! Shit! Ass... I need to do some paschatap...

A soft knock on the door made us look up. A soft voice asked, 'May I'?  We said in chorus, 'Yea'. The door opened slowly and a face peered in.  I saw the glasses first, then the eyes...I lowered my glance, the mouth came into view. He was gorgeous. A sweet enveloping smile on his lips, he walked in, and extended his right hand, 'Hey, I am Ravi.'  The smile killed me, piercing my heart. Suddenly my hand refused to cooperate. My friend extended her hand and he took it, still looking at me, a quick curiosity crossing his eyes. I shook myself out of the reverie and extended my hand and gave a quick handshake. His hands were soft yet very masculine. The tingle made me look up. He was looking at me with open curiosity. And smiling.  My mind screamed, 'stop smiling, I will die!'  The next few hours flew by. I had no idea what happened. I understood that we had discussed some very serious topics. I had no clue, what they were. All I could recall were...