Trials and Tribulations by Fire

Have never felt this way before. Salary won't get deposited before September. That means I have to live off whatever I have.  Life has never been rosy, but, suddenly everything seems bleary and dreary. Money was never such a huge issue in my life. Today, I am worried about paying salary to my maid, buying groceries, handling the household expenses for this month.  Feel sick.  Feel angry. Anger is directed towards the man who was instrumental in creating this situation. I do not know if he could have done anything or no. But, am sure if he had wanted to, he could have given some nice reason to let me stay till August 31st. I would have got the salary and life would have been rosy. That was not to be. I had to worry about how to pay my bills and worry about all the mounting expenses! August always does this to me. I hate the month. I hate the number it stands for.  Whenever this number 8 arrives in my life, my life changes...

An idle day at work means a lot of things to me. Today it means catching up on movies. Ok, don't gawk, I am allowed to watch movies in the office. Well, not like officially, but yeah, I can access all these sites which invite you, rather comple you to indulge your senses. I gave in and watched a movie called 'Silver Linings Playbook.'   Cast includes the ooh so sexy Bradley Cooper (how can somebody be so delicious!) and the quite hot Jennifer Lawrence. Well, to top it all, there is the baap , Robert Di Niro, well, as the daddy, Sr. Pat Solitano.  Now, Bradley, nee Jr. Pat has Bipolar disorder. Don't know what that is? c'mon, Google it. So, our sexy looking Pat (Bradley) gets out of a loony bin (a mental institution) and stays with his parents. Why did he end up there? He tried to kill his wife's lover when he found them making out in the shower! So silly and so slippery! Anyway, Pat begins a new life but Nikki (his ex-wife) keeps marauding his mem...

At first glance, the name of the book strikes a chord. If you have heard of Kirk Douglas, you would recall the name instantly. Else, 'My Stroke of Luck ~ Alphabet to Author' would be just another book. I have never been a fan of books that talk about pain, sorrows, and trauma. This book by Vijay Santhanam, at first, sounded like one. At some level it is. But, there is also this element of courage, which makes the reader sit up and empathize with Vijay. The book is strewn with anecdotes from Vijay's life. Delving into personal details is not something I am too comfortable with. But in Vijay's book, I could see that the details were necessary to build context.   For a less practiced reader, the book may not be unputdownable. You may have to take breaks. I read the book within a few hours. I had several reasons. I wanted to know what Vijay did and how we went about doing it. Vijay warns the reader that he is not attempting to write a medical journal on str...

Today is very special. Today, the whole day I avoided thinking about her and in the evening I gave vent to my non-existent emotions and bitched to my heart's content. In the end, I feel listless and empty. It is as if the hatred for her has left me paralysed, I can feel nothing. The nothingness is soothing. I can understand it. But, slowly, a metamorphosis is happening. I do not like it quite. I think I need to stop it from  taking over me. Me, the self, I know since 1977, the self which defines me, my status in society, the self that people relate to, and often say,'this is so you.' But, many a times, I feel, is this the real me? The person who swears at old men driving slowly in the middle of the road, who sneers at lovey-dovey couples, rolls her eyes at many things, is this me? Oh god! If this was the real me, who is the person I keep thinking I am. I must be losing it, has it always been like this or is it just now, because of this woman, in my life? Have I given...

  Name: Tantra Author: Adi Publisher: Apeejay Stya Publishing ISBN 978-81-908636-2-9 Price: 195 INR The summary on the back cover: Anu is a leather wearing, no-nonsense professional guardian with a reputation for killing the most dangerous vampires in New York City. But when her enemies murder the one person she truly cared about, all she wants is vengeance. The only clue points to New Delhi, so Anu puts in for a job transfer. In India, she finds more than she expected. For one thing, her fellow operatives have made a truce with the vampires. For another, it’s way too hot to wear leather. At first, it seems Anu’s biggest challenge will be evading the nice boys her aunt wants her to marry. But when children start disappearing, she discovers forces older and darker than anything she’s faced before. All of Delhi is in danger, especially the sexy stranger who sets Anu’s pulse racing. To prepare for the coming battle, Anu must overcome her personal demons and put aside y...

The smell of freshly made chai lingers on my senses The unconcerned chat sessions extending much beyond the hours of societal boundaries is still fresh The special words that can be branded 'you' are part of my vocabulary I am so glad you came into this world, however it may be I am so glad you came to my area I am so glad we met for snacks as a group and took back years of togetherness Happy Birthday!  

Tumko dekha toh yeh khayal aaya, zindagi dhoop tum ghanaa chhaya... What would happen if one day, there was no rule that people had to follow the rules of the so-called society. What if? What would I do? Well, for starters (LOL...and what is for desserts?)...anyway, PJs apart, I would live my life without any fear, subjugation, and moral policing. I would just do what I wanted to.  A few things would be:  1. Say 'I Love you' to him and ensure I sleep with him. Oh oh, I am not part of the Satis, I will get what I want. Want the man, get him! Bingo. 2. Slap a few faces so hard, it should hurt and the jaws should get stuck.  3. Beat up atleast 1 Chennai auto wallah with a iron rod and make him stand in the sun, if possible, tie him to the back of an MTC bus and...you get the picture. 4. Get drunk and drive at 140 kmph on ECR.  5. Put a plaster on my FIL's mouth when he starts talking.  6. Take my mom on a World tour and...

Read the detailed review of this place here: http://chennai.burrp.com/listing/al-arab/review/please-do-not-visit-this-restaurant-ever/16wo_38y5 Oh, before I forget, please do not visit. If you want vengeance, do send your enemy there!

A long wait and the end has come. The fruit is not sweet. I had expected it to be mine. I gave my 100%. Maybe it was not to be. Or maybe I deserve only this much. Am I over-reacting too much about all this? I think I should just stick to writing documentation in AIT and blog posts (nobody reads them anyway). Depression is setting in. I dont even feel like writing, the only thing I love to do.  

The wait has become painful Endless patience and long sighs dot the landscape Smiles reach the sinus cavities but not the orifices above The muscle that pumps the blood seems to be tired Of all the waiting and pining Is it just a pipe dream or will it happen anytime soon? Will the fire reaching the skies have the desired effect? Will the smoke-filled cupboards go waste? Will the road lead to nowhere? Will the attitudinal change go nowhere? What are the thoughts? As days go by, the only effect the smoke has is on me, on my craziness The quotient is just a number, not to be confused with anything else Will the logic of mind over matter work here? Has it ever worked for me? Am I the one who is controlling the smoke? Or is it something that is pre-destined? Or am I just day-dreaming, as usual?  Is this all a bubble, again? Is this just a dream that I am seeing with pink-colored glasses? I will know in some days. Will it or wont it? I wish it should...Some...