Trials and Tribulations by Fire

You raise your voice You raise your hand I cringe, knowing well the imprint that would land The skin singes, nerves tingle, throat constricts in pain I cry out not loud, neighbors should think all is clear Blue black red green I have seen it all Marks that no eraser can wipe away Marks that run with my blood, through my heart You talk so that you can control You cry so that you can overpower I let you do that so that I can live... 

Can married women use their financial freedom to empower themselves? Can they? If I heard anyone saying yes, I want to meet that woman. And fall at her feet. One of these scenarios is true: she is heading for a divorce, wears the pants in her house, or is simply assertive and does not care too much about what the spouse feels.  Well, I am talking about the freedom to spend the money she earns. I do not want to be in a position where for even a minute I would have to ask money from somebody, let alone a man. When you dole out money to someone, you automatically feel powerful, showing off your financial prowess to whoever cares to hear.  Is that bad? It certainly is, from a self respect POV.  Also, if you earn money but are stopped from using it as and when you want, you would certainly feel restricted. I am not a spender, rather I can be termed frugal also. There are times when I would need to spend on some essentials but may not be allowed to. The reasons are myria...

Just finished reading "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. Jodi writes about relationships, families, of love, hurt, longing, human emotions, and many more such themes. A friend suggested I pick up one of her books. I did, but forgot the name of the author when I reached the library. I searched all the Js but did not chance upon her books. When I was about to give up, I saw a rack full of Jodi's books. Delightedly, I picked one up, randomly. I informed my friend that I had my hands on one and would giver her my feedback.  Here is what I think:  Jodi is a fantastic writer. I happened to read her interviews in the media and her blog. I also read the comments from her male contemporaries.  The Pact is about two teenagers, Chris and Emily and their love. The story unfolds in a restaurant where the two families, the Golds and Hartes are meeting up over a meal. Gus and James Harte and Michael and Mel Gold are friends for over eighteen years.  Their kids Chris Harte ...

Recently, I happened to meet a friend who had had house guests: an old couple. This is a very interesting relationship that I am going to describe. This lady and the old couple had met through her husband and they got along like a house on fire. During the few occasions they met, the lady was nice to the couple and the couple, especially the old woman was enamored by the lady.  It so happened that one day the old couple came calling and decided to stay longer than their usual one or two days.  My friend was aghast at this blatant intrusion of privacy. Was she running a guesthouse? How could anybody just walk into her house and stay for days altogether. She braced herself for some old-fashioned advising. As she thought, the old lady started bossing around and started throwing a tantrum left, right, and center. Do this, do that, etc. The lady started returning late at night. One night when she went with a friend for a couple of drinks, the old lady asked her, quite sternly,...

I watched 'India's Daughter', the story of Jyoti Singh, a feisty rape victim, who succumbed to her injuries, dashing the hopes of her inconsolable parents.  The video, a 59 and odd minute documentary played on BBC Four recently. It made me shudder. Not that I am not aware of the existence of men like Mukesh and the boy now simply called "The Juvenile". I see them everywhere, on the streets, in the malls.  The video is well shot. The interview with one of the perps, the unrepentant, unashamed Mukesh treats the whole shoot like a moral lecture. He looks straight at the camera and without batting an eyelid supports the rape. He says, the girl was asking for it. What gall the girl had to step out after sunset to watch a movie, with a boy who did not fit the "accepted" definitions of men like Mukesh: husband, brother, father, and so on. The girl was asking for it, he says. She had to be taught a lesson. Even if Ram and Mukesh's twisted minds...

Just finished watching Badlapur: Don't miss the beginning. The phrase is part of the name, not my addition.  Badlapur is all about Revenge. A bank robbery and a chance murder catapults the lives of all the characters into a never ending boiling cauldron. Varun Dhawan, a twenty something actor has pulled off a very tricky role, with panache. Playing the brooding widower baying for the blood of the murderer, he is stunning.  Nawazzudin, as the bank robber Laik Muhammad, gives a superlative performance. Together they do a perfect tango, of hatred and vengeance.  When Laik and Harman (Vinay Pathak) accidentally kill Misha (Yami Gautam), Raghav's (Varun) wife and their son Robin, Raghu takes to the streets, his heart set on revenge. He extracts his due fully, slowly, painfully, revelling in his torturous routine. Varun has given a spectacular performance, leaving behind many such anti-heroes far behind. You won't be able to believe the metamorphosis of the sweet...

Recently, I heard a voice from the near past. A not so pleasant voice.  Then came a tingle. It was my WhatsApp inbox, calling out to me, drawing my attention to a seemingly harmless message. It was from her. It simply said, how are you, how is life?  Well, life is as it can be, should be, how does it matter, as she would oft say. I stared at the message for a long time. My head filled with the images of the past, of her betrayals, of my reactions to her. My heart sank. Will I never get to move on? Will she pursue me even in my new life? I replied. A nonchalant, typical polite response. Then silence. She had been like that. Blow hot, blow cold. You could never emotionally attach to her, she would clam up. I knew this from before, didn't expect anything beyond. I just wished she would stop messaging. How much can a person avoid? I had unfriended her, un-Linked her, but she refused to get the message. 'How are you'? Why are you bothered? I thought.  Choicest expleti...

I am back to romancing my blog. I am sorry I was away for a long time. I should have kept in touch. I treated you also as deadwood.  You know what deadwood is? Wood that dies, rots and cannot grow roots. It must be chopped off at the right time, else it infects the entire tree.  Likewise, in life, we have several such people, relations that are no longer useful. These people and relations need to be cut off at the right time, else they become like an infected wound.  These can come into your life masquerading as friends, they will say things that make you reach out to them, then when you are stuck in their emotional melodramas, they suck you in, slowly, oh so slowly, into their web of deceit and hatred.  Helen was one such woman. Always a cynic. An atheist. I loved her bindaas attitude, when I first met her. I thought it was cool to question each and every ritual practiced by our forefathers, cool to ask questions, cool to just, rebel.  I was so far g...

When life gives you a lemon... December 6th, a month went by, without much ado.  I spent an entire month from my life, in shock. Denial was the first reaction, obviously.   Shock, denial, reluctance to accept reality, suspended disbelief, anger, then came grief, terrible sadness enveloping my whole being. Then came acceptance, like the white light descending from the heavens to rid me of my pain.  I spent my time doing mundane household chores: sweeping, mopping, washing utensils, cooking, cleaning... Doing the chores became an obsession slowly...I would mop till I could see my face on the floor! It hit me then. I was punishing myself for losing out, for not being able to sustain in a despicable situation and being handed a lemon. Yes, it sounds very romantic when people, from their posh condos in NY write about making lemonade from lemons. But, how painful or how realistic are these expectations?  When you are in a situation like I was in, all I ...

The New Year has started on Vaikunta Ekadasi. This means, Lord Vishnu will shower his blessings on all of us throughout the year.    2015 is a very different year. I can feel the vibes. Things happened quickly over the last few months and I have this feeling that the new year would turn out to be just fine. Let me just wait and watch. November was a pain and December was just a blur.