Trials and Tribulations by Fire

Finality is a strange companion you see It lets you breathe in the free air just enough to let your spirits soar, not more, not less Finality seems like a far thought, lingering at the horizon, making you seek, yearn When you reach out to reach the state, it vanishes, poof! Finality sometimes gets you into a rhythm of vacillation, uncertainty before it displays its true nature      Finality is also a full stop, not a semi colon Take a turn, stop, or rest.  Finality allows you the respite. It is after all, the End. 

Power surges and ancient cranky desktops Mice around me that refuse to scamper and stare with defiance In the mid-way house, for a week, fortnight, or maybe a month April it is, when the saga will end An outsider, persona non grata, a pariah Words words words, all mean the same The mid-way house provides succor someone said Time slipping fast from my fingers Do this do that see there see here, she said I am still, mind refuses to flit around, heart no longer anxious as earlier The mid-way house it is For as long as the state of my present being doesn’t change

Ever wondered how we get to see ads for stuff we have been searching for in Amazon or eBay? With rapid digitization in the offing, it is but a matter of time, when robots will rule our lives and the oft-seen scenario (think rise of the machines) be played out in our real lives. Scary? Yes, to a certain extent. Digital imprint and digitization is for real. We have to accept this hard fact and be prepared for any such eventualities. What could change, you might ask? Umm, maybe the way we shop has certainly changed. In the near future, the way we select or are offered choices during our "Casual browsing session" in Amazon or any other website will change. Is it good or bad?  Can't really say. It depends solely on how we react to the kind of digital onslaught. As of now, we are in a state of flux and we must brace ourselves for a wave of digitization, whether we like it or not.

Today, had a very interesting conversation with a person I have known for many years. She is my well-wisher. I really like and respect her. [Umm, I confess, I edited the above sentence, twice!] She said, why are you wasting your precious time pursuing something that isn't worth even a dime? Why don't you invest your time and energy on something that enriches your life and your thoughts. I took her advise pretty seriously. I sat down with a hot cuppa and pondered. Of late, I have caught myself getting into this introspective mode often. Lemons: Ever handled lemons in life? I have. Extensive experience in handling lemons. Not being sarcastic or anything. Just plain speak, the way only I can do. I have been thrust with many such lessons [unwilling participant] at various stages in my life. I have reached a  stage in my life where I am unable to make any more lemon juice. Pun fully intended. I want to keep myself financially viable by doing something I am good at and not...

I write, to live. I write, to express, to feel life, flowing through my hands, fingers... I write, to breathe, to keep my brain working I write, to attain mastery over myself  

I am stressed today. Last year was very stressful but I learnt some great lessons as well. So, on an average, it evened out.   I was overthinking and upping my blood pressure. I knew how to react, be positive, remain calm, and manage my emotional distress. P ersonally, last year was a mess. It took a huge toll. I was unable to extricate myself from the abyss. I kept getting pulled into it. After some struggle, I let go. I saw no point in struggling. The more I struggled, the more I got pulled into this quagmire.  I hit rock bottom and stayed there for a while. Like a humungous ship with a deadweight tied around its neck, I remained at the bottom of the sea. I went through the usual motions like a zombie, the distress and sorrow taking roots in my psyche and snuffing my life out. I almost gave up. Almost gave in. Then, one fine day, something happened and I sat up and decided to start living. Decided to snatch back my life. I slo...

In India, women are expected to have long hair and cutting hair is considered a sin. Especially, if these women are license holders, heaven save them from the wrath of the house help/the corner paan wale bhaiyya/security guy/etc etc.  Every passer by will have a word or two to say to this woman who has done the unthinkable: cut her hair. Ok, trimming also garners similar sentiments from the world.  I did something similar last year and eyebrows shot up. I cut my hair! Here is how I used to look before my haircut: All hell broke loose. Everybody, from my maid, the security guy, my bus driver, the SME I was working with, the pantry wale bhaiyya , everyone had a thing to say about my haircut. Everyone. My dad loved it, my mum hated it. My mother-in-law decided she liked the cut but wondered how quickly my hair would grow back. Father-in-law declared that this was the perfect cut for my face. And, this is the cut I got: The man of the house was a fenc...

Amma, Appa, and I decided to catch a late-night movie. Family night out, it had to be...I had made up my mind. It had to be Badrinath Ki Dulhania. Yep! Full on masala flick. Amma, Appa enjoyed the jokes and the easy camaraderie between the lead actors. Appa, who used to scowl at Bollywood films, like a good sport, munched on the popcorn we offered and laughed loudly at the jokes. The jokes were quite funny. Ok, let me confess. I love Varun Dhawan. Yes! I think he is cute and I (confession mode on!) have seen all his movies! Sigh! That was a relief. So, Luxe Cinemas it was. Fun evening, lots of popcorn and cold coffees and easy conversations. After spending stressful days, it felt nice to chill with my life's first friends: Amma and Appa. Growing up, I never needed friends from my peer group. They were there to play with me and rebuke me when required. They are growing old now but they are still so adorable. And, this evening turned out to be so much fun. One small reason why ...

Pests become pets when the luck factor is going southwards for some. Pest #1: Slacker Time waster Disinterested resource Unskilled resource Year end rating - 1 Exceeds All Expectations Reason: Poor thing has been traveling all the way to Siruseri all the way from Kodambakkam, dragging her body inside the office bus and landing on the swivel chair, and downing the 101 boxes of fruits thrust into her bag by the over zealous mother. Time...I murmur...time. Mind voice: Yeah, when you didn't expect her even to come to office, merely by coming to office and staying for 9 hours, she can claim for the #1 rating. ROFL. Ironical eh. Pest #2: Candy crush champion Gossip monger Unskilled resource Disinterested in most things (read productive) Year end rating - 1 Exceeds All Expectations Reason: Simply because one aunty loves sob stories and a sick mother-in-law and an incompetent husband adds fuel to the bucket of woes. Mind voice says: "adi paavi, OB OB" All I ...

Wildly beats the heart I can hear it afar, wonder what the hurry is, where it wants to run off Wildly scan my eyes I ask them, "What do you search" Silence on my ears is my answer for their quest, I realize Disjointed parts, parts of me, the whole me, looking quizzically at the disjointed me, wondering when did I come undone?