Trials and Tribulations by Fire

I am going to try this out from tomorrow. Err. Technically from today. Since it is 1:15 a.m, as I write this post, I shall start my resolution from today. But the real test of my mental strength will come in the morning, when I wake up and look at my mobile. Will i be able to withstand the assault? Will I be able to carry out my wishes? Will I do it? Even for a day? I feel I can. Maybe I can. I have displayed a resolute self in the past when I have brushed past nastier things and moved ahead in life. Cant I fight this small urge? But my heart has run away from me. I cant live without my heart, but still my brain has forced my heart to return and reside in my body. The question rises again. How long will it take for my heart to run away again? A minute maybe? Tomorrow I will know. Maybe I am born to be a loser. Aargh. A loser at the hands of my heart. My stupid emotional heart with lots of bad bad LDL in it. I will purge you tomorrow. Am sorry; From tomorrow, you will rise and shine aga...

Look at the picture on the left. Imagine how long it would take any of us to reach this stage. Some of us, with very very unhealthy eating habits, maybe reaching this 'goal' sooner. Many of us hide our fat under layers of clothes. What would you do if you are saddled with tonnes of fat like this. The best option is to opt for liposuction. But this is an option that can be used for extreme cases. Normally, people are overweight or obese, with loads of fat tucked into the thighs, hips, and abdomen. But hardly is any fat visible, and we tend to ignore fat until it disrupts our daily lives. Today, lets see how we can fight this monster called Fat. Most people think it is normal to have loads of fat under the belt or over it. Two-thirds of Americans are either overweight or obese. This gives raise to serious health risks. The location of the fat also plays an important role in health issues. For example, if the excess fat is in the abdomen, slimming down may be the only option to a...

80....79.....78........77......76. This is the number range that scares me to death. I never ever want to cross this range and go the other side. I want to be on the thinner side. The side of lightness, the side of slim-ness, the side where people dont ogle at me if I walk with all my friends around my thigh, hips, and abdomen. People dont like my friends. But I have taken care to make my friends grow bigger and healthier. They are now so big and round. I have given them a staple diet of ghee, sweets, and fried rice. I am blessed with a frame that can easily carry 80 kgs and not show a thing. Unless I undress no "mai ka lal" can make out that I am carrying oodles of fat around me all the time. But recently I had a fight with my friends. We have decided to separate. They are leaving me, one by one. I have some left, but I know they too will leave me. But yes, I am also happy to see them go. They have been making my life miserable. Making me look like 35. I told them so. They u...

Ever wondered if we stopped doing the routine things that we do everyday, what would change? Well, nothing would. All we would do is start living the way we are supposed to, in the new habitat. With a new habit. My life is a very simple one. I am a lazy bum, get up by 10-11, get ready and go to work by 2. Well, some times I sit down to watch all these teary eyed-serials that make me run late to work. I do enjoy watching these serials sometimes. I prefer watching a movie. Any movie that would capture my attention for that moment. Movies are my passion. I feel so grounded when I am in front of a screen. I simply love the feeling of being transported to another world when I am watching a movie. Its surreal. Its magical. I love that feel. Even now while I am writing this blog, I fall back for support on a hindi movie, that makes me feel that I am not alone in feeling bad. I am witnessing the lives of the hero and the heroine, and empathising with their sorrows. This helps me forget my stor...

Thirty years, long arduous years. Today, I can turn back and look at all this with a wise grin on my face. Without remorse, without agony. Well sometimes, though the thoughts truly make me shudder. The pain, the agony, and the sorrow make me feel embittered. My soul feels torn at many places. I feel bad for all the torture I have put my mind through. But I cant help feel bad about all this. I turned 30 recently. Thirty long years of my life, and I feel I have so little to show for everything I have been through. I have given so much (or atleast tried to) but I hardly have got back anything solid in return. All I have got is heartache, and humiliation. Do i deserve all this? Am i worth only this? Is this what I was born for? Is this what my life is worth? Getting an earful from people, who are worth a piece of shit weighed in kilos! Heck, I have reached somewhere, by 30. I wanted to be here when I started my journey some 7 years back. I have done it. Why should I cow down and feel sorry...

A glass covered ceiling, reflecting the sun and throwing up myriads of particles on the occupants of this humongous structure. The reflecting walls make up for the beauty lost with the ultra-secure containment outside the building. The security guards instructed to frisk each and every passerby do irk you, but then the building deserves this, so you tend to let go. Welcome to the Bank. After 12 days of fooling around within the confines of this International organisation, I already feel like a veteran. But not so much, since I am yet to go through the bad parts of being here. I am very confident that nothing can beat my previous employer, in making people work like a pig. Guess, I am being polite when I say this, though. Life is like a sieve. You can see the other side, very clearly, but to reach the other side, you must go through the sieving process to make the finer aspects more fine. You get the best of all the words. You become the quintessential maker of your fortune. The Rainmak...

Hattrick: A movie made by Sidharth Anand. (never heard of him!) Well, this movie is NOT like Iqbal. Or about any cricket crazy kid wanting to become a great sportsman. This story is about a Hat-trick performed by ordinary mortals like Paresh Rawal, Nana Patekar , Danny and Kunal Kapoor. Adding masala to Kunal's life is Rimi Sen. Frankly, the film is well-taken. The story has no loose ends and the director gives you a feel-good factor to go home with. But there is no great wisdom to ponder upon and get your grey cells active. It is just a simple story, with a few characters, here and there and how they deal with the turbulence in their lives. I think Kunal Kapoor has real potential, and Rimi has put on a few pounds. Paresh has done a great job as the babbling Gujju Patel who is obsessed with the UK PR. Danny, as David Abraham, plays the role of a happy-go-lucky cricketer, who makes the stern Nana smile. Hattrick is about human emotions and feelings. You can smile and laugh a ...

Feb 18th 2007: Today I went to MGM Dizzeeworld. Exhilaration and pure ecstacy are some adjectives that would characterize the visit. Various fun rides such as the Ranger, the Flying ship take your breath away and try to make it a memorable visit. Well, I went with two friends, who are crazy enough to pay for this pure form of torture. I guess even the Russians can learn a thing or two from these people who design these rides! The rides are meant to be for people's amusement, hence the name, amusement park. But, to my absolute horror, one guy threw up, coloring the whole Flying ship with his internals and to the chagrin of his neighbors, never recovered from his ordeal. I went on the Roller-Coaster, the mini rollercoaster, dashed against my friends in the Dashing cars, got drenched in the Wet ride, and simply had fun. The fear of the scary Ranger and the Flying ship reigned supreme, and I dared not venture there. I stayed put and made sure, I was not emotionally blackmailed to take ...

29.... going on 30, in a coupla days. A little bit apprehensive about everything. I am. I don't know if this is correct or I am over-exaggerating. I always do that. I tend to crib, a lot. Cry some more, and act as if the world is falling in. Well, this seems to be the case, for the past few weeks. I am not sure where I will be in the next few months. Change. Is such a reluctant adversary. Ain't it. Heh. Moving on with a new job, feels as if I am leaving my household and moving on to a new life altogether. Technically this is not reality. But yeah, my mind has conjured up such ideas. It is real for my mind. Which in turn, seems to be real for me. The world feels I am a fool. I am sentimentally attached to my job, my workplace, and my friends. I am. No doubt about that. But, is it wrong. It ain't. But anyway, if you see it this way. If my friends get an opp for moving away to a better paypacket, wont they grab it. Well no harm in me doing the same. Isnt it. Hey. I am here to ...

Nithya Suresh Kaun Hai? Well, this would be the case a few hours ago. But now, 1 hour later, its a fact. A simple yeah, has completed my journey. Maybe I am crazy to say yes, without even thinking. But I had already decided to say yes even without meeting the guy. The Groom, to be exact. Suresh alias Subramanian, would have been my Prince Charming. A would be husband. But destiny had other plans in store. Suresh, withered away without even a trace. My beloved parents spurned him. He was shooed away, because, he turned out to be something else that he originally wasn't. His lies, had turned him into a non-performing asset. NPA. Suresh had to go. He had not completed the formalities. He had lied about his qualifications and job. He had to be stopped from starting the engagement formalities. A phone call took care of that. And an e-mail did the trick. I was relieved. Woudn't I?